tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45984979168882733002024-03-13T10:53:04.800-07:00Overheard in High Schooliq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-12111741479014595812008-05-27T21:30:00.001-07:002008-05-27T21:45:50.733-07:00Student #1, to physics teacher: One of your fish died while the sub was here.<br />Teacher: What?<br />Student #2: There were four. Now there's three.<br />Student #3: The sub ate one.<br /><br />Math Teacher: Can I mark off your homework?<br />Student: Today's not a good day.... It's going to rain.<br /><br />Student #1: My project is a whisk. You use it to beat eggs.<br />Student #2 (raises hand and asks): Can you use it to beat people?<br /><br />Random student comes into our math class: [Teacher], I'm going to have you for math next year, and if you fail me, I swear to God I'll walk on your grave.<br /><br />Random student (a guy): [Teacher], I think we should get our nails done this weekend.<br /><br />Teacher: This isn't that hard, write faster.<br />Student: We're not computers.<br />Teacher: You're not?<br />Student: No!<br />Teacher: Man, I wanted a class of computers.<br />Student: Well then go down to the main office.<br /><br />Teacher: A variable resistor is used to change speed of motors, dim lights, adjust TV settings- [student], what's it used for?<br />Student: ...Change speed of dim lights.<br />Teacher: <em>Something</em>'s dim.<br /><br />Two girls walk into class.<br />Girl #1: ...your excretory system is working properly.<br />Girl #2: Thanks for announcing it to the whole class!<br /><br />Teacher: Earth's magnetic field is relatively weak compared to the fields that mess up electronics.<br />Student: <em>Aha</em>! Earth has a weakness!<br /><br />Student: I'm going to kill my mom! She put a dollar bill in my sandwhich and lunch meat in a seperate baggie.<br /><br />Girl #1: [Guy #1], did you finish your ferris wheel?<br />Girl #2: Wait, what did you say?<br />Girl #1: I asked him if he finished his ferris wheel, his physics project.<br />Girl #2: Oh, it sounded like you asked him if he finished his affair.<br />[All three of them laugh]<br />Girl #1: I don't <em>care</em> about your love life!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />Teacher: Sometimes you feel like throwing somebody out the window.<br />Student: Unfortunately, this is only a two story building.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-15578579857277756742008-04-30T17:38:00.000-07:002008-04-30T17:56:53.173-07:00<u>In Physics</u><br /><u></u><br />Teacher: We're going to go around the room and everyone say something with a motor in it.<br />Student #1: Fan<br />Student #2: Car<br />Student #3: Train, like the kind that goes around a Christmas tree.<br />Student #4: Airplane.<br />Student #5: Christmas tree.<br />Teacher: Can you be more specific?<br />Student #5: No.<br />Student #6: Refrigerator.<br />Student #7: Boat.<br />Student #8: Vibrator.<br /><br /><br />Teacher: [Student], you're on my list.<br />Student: What list?<br />Student #2: Schindler's list.<br /><br />Student (talking about something we should have learned in chemistry but didn't because the teacher was incompetent): We skipped that chapter- along with the other fifteen!<br /><br />Student: I'm really curious, how do they name these things [measurement units]?<br />Teacher: Well, sometimes if you discover it, and you write a textbook or an article, you can name it, or else future generations name it after you. Like the Newton was...<br />Student: Jimmy Neutron!!!<br /><br />Student #1, to teacher: Are you this funny with your kids? (to other students) Does he have kids?<br />Student #2: No.<br />Student #1: Well then, are you this funny with your wife?<br />Teacher: No.<br />Student #1: Poor wife.<br />Student #3: Are you married?<br />Student #2 (sarcastically): No, he just has a wife.<br /><br /><u>In History</u><br />The class is discussing to what extent Jefferson went against his political philosophy, and the teacher thows away a piece of paper.<br />Student: Did you just throw away that papaer? You didn't recycle it? Did you know the amount of paper people throw away every day could circle the globe twice?<br />Teacher (defensively): Hey, Jefferson owned slaves!<br /><br /><u>In Math</u><br />Student [about other student]: Doesn't he look like Harold? Have you watched <em>Harold and Kumar</em>? He looks like Harold, only not a stoner and with glasses, but he looks just like him, he's Korean and everything.<br /><br />Student #1 (in another math class): What are you studying in math?<br />Student #2: Limits. They don;t exist.<br /><br />Student: Can we leave the answer in that form?<br />Teacher: Sure. I'm easy, not many people would admit that.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-56894453341091271752008-04-13T15:36:00.000-07:002008-04-13T15:38:34.314-07:00Teacher: In a lockdown, the number one rule is, "DOn't opem the door." Even if it's someone who went to the bathroom, even if it's the dean, <em>don't open the door</em>.<br />Student: What if it's Jesus?<br /><br />Student #1: I was watchin <em>Forest Gump</em> last night, and-<br />Student #2: Don't ruin it for me! I've never seen it.<br />Student #3: You've never seen <em>Forest Gump</em>? You're not a real American!iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-56157979800453768852008-04-09T20:00:00.001-07:002008-04-09T20:33:52.516-07:00<p><u>In Physics</u></p><p>Teacher: How do you say image in Spanish?<br />Student: La image. (pronounced la im-ah-hay)<br />Teacher: Okay, donde es la image? La image esta alli. (draws image on graph)<br />Student #2: Why are you speaking German?</p><p>After the class just changed seats:<br />Student #1: I hate it here in the back.<br />Teacher: Do you need to sit in front so you can see?<br />Student: No.<br />Girl sitting next to her: Yes she does.<br />Student#1: No I don't.<br />Student #2: Yes she does.<br />Student #1: No, I don't.<br />Student #2: Yes she does!!!</p><p>Teacher: So that's fiber optics.<br />Student: Is that how we have light sabers?</p><p>Teacher: You have specular reflective planes, mirrors, in your bedrooms, your bathrooms, where else...<br />Student #1: Attics!<br />Student #2: Swimming pools.</p><p>Discussing rainbows.<br />Teacher: So the sun is the light source for the ones you see in the sky when it rains-<br />Student: What about at night?<br />Teacher: You see rainbows at night?<br />Student: Yes!!<br />Teacher: Well, what's the light source?<br />Student: I don't know, I'm asking you!!!</p><p>Teacher: How do you test if your sunglasses are polarized?<br />Student: Look into the sun.</p><p>Teacher: This type of lens can only make upright, virtual images that are smaller than the object.[students are talking] [Student], what type of images can this lens make?<br />Student: Uh, virtual.<br />Teacher: Virtual, go on.<br />Student: Virtual images!</p><p>Teacher: If I were to make the sun disappear with my Harry Potter powers-<br />Student: They can't do that!!!</p><p>The swim team is leaving class to go to a swim meet.<br />Student: Bye!<br />Student #2:Good luck!<br />Student #3: Break a leg!<br />Student #4: Don't drown!</p><p>Teacher: What happens if you listen to loud music over time?<br />Student: You die!</p><p>Teacher: What is sound?<br />Student: Waves.<br />Teacher: What kind of waves?<br />Student: Sound waves!</p><p>Teacher: In a band, first chair is a coveted position.<br />Student: Is it more comfy?</p><p>Teacher: It's hard to make sounds under water, but there are animals that make sounds under water. Anybody know any?<br />Student #1: Whales.<br />Student #2: Dolphins.<br />Student #3: Dori!</p><p>Teacher: Whales used to be able to sing to each other from thousands of miles away. But they can't anymore. Anyone know why?<br />Student #1: Pollution.<br />Student #2: It's too expensive.</p><p><u>In Math</u></p><p>Student #1: What's your name?<br />Student #2: Domingo.<br />Student #1: Like the fruit???</p><p>Teacher: I will have some horizontal asymptope action.<br />Student: That sounds dirty.</p><p>Teacher: So the limit as X approaches C DNE because the RHL DNE the LHL.<br />Student #1: So many letters!<br />Student #2: If you read the answers to this homework over the phone, the CIA would wiretap you.</p><p><u>In Spanish</u></p><p>Student tries to translate, Do you prefer that I turn on the air conditioning?<br />Teacher: Do you prefer for me to turn you on? No! You prefer for me to turn <em>the air conditioner</em> on.<br />(a miniute later, to another student): No, you don't prefer for me to get on top of you.</p><p><u>In History</u></p><p>Student: They're, like, a monopoly charity, They take over everything!</p>iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-84999430625468449332008-03-21T09:26:00.000-07:002008-03-21T09:27:23.463-07:00Over heard in a small town Upstate new York High School:<br /> Exasperated Teenage boy: "And then she said, 'Hi, I'm your ex-girlfriend.' And I said 'Ugh, you don't need to remind me.'"<br /><br />-Overheard by anonymousiq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-32312202425421681432008-03-08T23:13:00.000-08:002008-03-08T23:17:52.155-08:00<span></span>Guy in red sweatshirt: Do you want to buy a candy bar? They're only one dollar!<br />Girl: No thanks.<br />Guy: Only a Communist would pass up a deal like this.<br />Girl: Communist? You're the one wearing red!<br /><br />Guy #1: ...in the knees, the balls, or the gallbladder.<br />Guy #2: I have a gallbladder!<br />Guy #1: My mom doesn't. She had it removed.<br />Guy #2: I have 6 gallbladders. To float.<br />Guy #1: Hw many gallstones do you have?<br /><br />On a Friday:<br />Physics Teacher: Failures are important because they're the lessons of tommorow.<br />Student: You mean Monday.<br />Teacher: I mean the future!iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-57937859357849491762008-02-29T16:44:00.000-08:002008-02-29T16:52:42.429-08:00In Math Analysis:<br />Student: Does anyone watch Lost?<br />Teacher: Lost? Oh, that's a TV show. I thought you were talking about my Algebrebra 1 class... I'm trying to teach them quadratic functions...<br /><br />From in class, we can hear someone yell in the hall: Wagner took my balls!!!<br /><br />Teacher (incredulously), to student: You never read <em>Harold and the Purple Crayon</em>?<br />Student: Well, sorry, I was reading Machiavelli.<br /><br />Student: I want to write a children's book: Little children love each other. A <em>lot</em>.<br /><br />[Guy randomly walks out of the classroom]<br />Girl [loudly, to class]: That's my boyfriend! [everyone looks at her] Just kidding. That's what I tell my mom whenever we're driving and we see some weird guy.<br />Teacher: Your mom doesn't know your boyfriend?<br />Girl's friend: She doesn't have one.<br />Girl [still talking loudly, to the whole class]l: I wish I had a boyfriend.<br />Random student, after pause: That's awkward.<br /><br />In Physics:<br />Teacher: You can't <em>pull</em> liquid up a straw. There is no such force as suction.<br />Student: Then what idiot came up with the word???iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-68141574972298028472008-02-26T14:27:00.000-08:002008-03-29T16:59:36.125-07:00English Teacher: ...floating arond like twinkle-bell!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Student: [Teacher] was nice today! It was weird, she was all nice!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />at 10:53<br /><br />Student #1: What time is it?<br /><br />Student #2: It's almost 11:11!!<br /><br />Student #3: No, it's not really.<br /><br />Student #2: Yeah, well, it's closer than it was an hour ago.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Teacher: How many watts is that?<br /><br />Student: Uh, 350 watts.<br /><br />Teacher: Right, but we're not working in watts, so what are we going to write down?<br /><br />Other Student: Lies!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Math Teacher: If chapter 2 is the heart of math analysis, chapter 3 is the... liver.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-63908516807231686842008-02-26T14:25:00.000-08:002008-02-26T14:26:38.647-08:00Was That Supposed to Be An Insult?Student #1: That is so cool.<br />Student #2: Your mom's cool.<br />Student #1: No, not really.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-59914706392981519072008-02-20T16:18:00.000-08:002008-02-20T16:23:44.216-08:00Youth & Government Advisor, to group of students: Quiet down!<br />[everyone keeps talking loudly]<br />Advisor: Yes, talk louder.<br />[it gets quiet]<br />Advisor: Okay, that worked.<br /><br /><br />English Teacher: Do you guys know how hard it is to get body parts? You know, you go to bed with a beautiful woman and wake up in a bathtub of ice with no kidneys?<br />Student, jokingly: Did that ever happen to you? I mean, did a girl ever steal any of your organs?<br />Teacher, puts hand on heart: Only this one.<br /><br />English teacher, about a metaphor in which the earth was compared to a breast: What does a breast do?<br />Student: It breathes.<br /><br />In Physics:<br />When the class doesn't get that the teacher was being sarcastic or falls for something stupid:<br />Teacher: Next year I am starting a class in AP Sarcasm & Gullibility.<br />Student: <em>Really???</em>iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-29019002620390172292008-02-11T16:38:00.000-08:002008-02-11T16:50:51.552-08:00Physics Teacher: Let's talk about apparent weight versus real weight. On a roller-coaster, which one changes?<br />Student: Apparent weight.<br />Other student: Unless you throw up.<br /><br />Physics Teacher: (sings) It's so fun to mumble to your neighbor. {stops singing) Why am I singing?<br /><br />Physics Teacher: There's time to get your tests back if we're done reviewing.<br />Student: There's time, we're done.<br />Teacher: We're not done!<br />Student: (yells) Yeah, we are!!!<br />(stunned silence)<br />Student: Sorry, that was rude.<br /><br />History Teacher: By the 1920s, the Klu-Klux Klan doesn't discriminate. They don't just hate black people any more. They hate black people, immigrants, Catholics, femininsts, socialists... They're equal opportunity haters.<br /><br />Spanish Teacher: If I wake up at three in the morning every day, what am I doing wrong? Going to bed too early?<br />Student, sort-of quietly: Or you're just crazy.<br />Teacher: What?<br />Student: Nothing!<br /><br />Spanish Teacher: I never called your class dumb. I called you bottom-feeders, I didn't call you guys dumb.<br /><br />In math class:<br />Student #1, to Student # 2: You make this class durable. Not durable, what's the word I'm looking for?<br />(they discuss it, trying to remember. for several minutes)<br />Student #2: I'm thinking manageable, but that's not right...<br />Other Student: Endurable.<br />Student #1: Right, that's it. Thanks.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-23763076968035579482008-01-31T20:52:00.000-08:002008-01-31T20:53:46.608-08:00My Mom: Are you on Facelift? [meaning Facebook]iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-65596227557337531692008-01-30T20:27:00.000-08:002008-01-30T20:29:08.043-08:00Math Teacher: Don't forget to dot the helping graph.<br />[Male] Student: Can we, like, highlight the main graph instead?<br />Teacher: That's good. Some people put, like, pink highlighter on it. That's always a nice, manly color.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-51046947889429323462008-01-30T20:25:00.001-08:002008-01-30T20:29:30.609-08:00Physics teacher: I mean, my god. I'm trying to tell you guys that this stuff is useful, and then they put a problem with baton twirling in the textbook.<br />Student #1: There has to be a better example.<br />Teacher: Oh, like what? Fire twirling?<br />Student #2: Remember when that one cheerleader twirled fire at that football game?<br />Teacher: Someone twirled fire and I missed it?!<br /><br />Student: I think people forget that Ted Kennedy killed that girl because he doesn't really have the demeanor of a killer.<br />Political science teacher: Yeah. It's not like he wears a necklace with an ear on it or anything.<br /><br /><br />-Overheard by anonymousiq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-5035259934763551062008-01-28T16:44:00.000-08:002008-01-30T20:30:23.299-08:00Student [after teacher had sent class to assembly when it wasn't on]:<br />Well, there's another major cock-up from our wonderful tutor...<br />Tutor: [Walks through door behind them as they say it]<br /><br />Chemistry Teacher: This reaction is kind of a-<br />Student: Miracle, sir?<br /><br />Teacher #1: [waiting at photocopier, trying to find out if teacher in front has a big load of paper to photocopy] Have you got a big one?<br />Teacher #2: That's really none of your business...<br /><br />Teacher: Ok, who wants to wipe my board?<br />Student: [whispering] I *really* hope that's not a euphemism...<br /><br />Student: I mean, I enjoy french, I just don't enjoy the teacher...<br /><br />Teacher: [showing picture of Guy Fawkes & others involved in the gunpowder plot] Who can tell me something all these men had in common?<br />Student notorious for giving bad answers: [Waving hand in air] Oh, me! Me, sir! Pick me!<br />Teacher: ... Anyone else?<br />Student: Me! Me! I know, pick me!<br />Teacher: Ok ... this had better be good...<br />Student: [with a triumphant air] They all have beards, sir!<br />Teacher: ...Yes, I can see that, I'm not blind. [walks into desk] That was on purpose.<br /><br />Teacher: This poster is a fine example of Nazi propaganda ... can anyone tell me what propaganda is?<br />Student: Is it like ... a male goose, who's like real proper, so-<br />Teacher: Oh, shut up.<br /><br /><br />-Overheard by someone at a highschool in the UK.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-44617175837014816262008-01-26T11:36:00.000-08:002008-01-26T11:43:07.106-08:00In English:<br />Student: What does the green light [in the Great Gatsby] symbolize?<br />Other Student: The Green Lantern!<br /><br />Teacher: There's a fine line between romantic and stalking.<br /><br />In Physics:<br />Teacher: What's he first purpose of a pulley?<br />Student: To pull!<br /><br />Teacher: I don't know 200. I can barely count to ten. [talking about Phillipinino numbers]<br /><br />In History:<br />Student: Aren't there a lot of kidnappings in Columbia?<br />Teacher: Yeah, Columbia and Mexico, but those are wealthy people for ransom, but that doesn't happen much, I mean, how many wealthy people are there?<br /><br />Somewhere, I can't remember where I overheard this one:<br />Student: I never stuck my finger up anyone else's ear.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-55768040832171803522008-01-21T18:24:00.000-08:002008-01-21T18:25:09.345-08:00Yeah, Superman.Student, to teacher: Are you wearing a NASA shirt under that shirt?<br />Teacher: Yeah. Stop looking through my shirt.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-53657784372365135332008-01-21T18:16:00.000-08:002008-01-21T18:24:53.619-08:00In Spanish class, while learning commands.<br />Teacher: Lavate pelo. [Wash your hair].<br />Student: You lava te pelo. Oh wait, you don't have any.<br /><br />Teacher, about an orange: Make some lemonade.<br />Student: I can't. I'm not Jesus.<br /><br />In Math Class [about a parallelogram]<br />Teacher: It's almost like you took a square and kicked it.<br /><br />In Physics:<br />Teacher: What can you lift in this world?<br />Students suggest examples:<br />-wood<br />-boxes<br />-a pencil<br />-weights<br />-your soul<br />Class: What?<br />Teacher: How much does it weigh?<br />Student: Zero grams.<br /><br />In History:<br />The bonus question on a quiz was name a monster from a monster movie. Someone said the Hulk.<br />Teacher: The Hulk isn't a monster, the Hulk's a good-guy.<br />Student: Depends which side you're on.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-16727632355800481332008-01-21T18:15:00.000-08:002008-01-21T18:16:48.651-08:00This is the first post overheard by someone besides me or my friends!<br /><br />History Class:<br />Dumb Girl- Harriet Tubman? Of course I know who that was. She was America's first black president!iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-85442227576532384622008-01-17T17:02:00.000-08:002008-01-17T17:09:37.688-08:00Spanish Teacher: [Student], there's no way you can suck hair.<br /><br /><br />The cover of Student #1's very old math book is coming off.<br />Student#1: What did you do to my book???<br />Student #2: Me? What did I do? I didn't do anything.<br />Student #1: I think my book is trying to commit suicide.<br /><br /><br />English Teacher: I'm a rugged individualist.<br />Student: Why don't you live in the woods then?<br /><br /><br />Student, in presentation about imperialism: Some people say American imperialism never really happened, everything really was just to help poorer countries.<br />History Teacher: Who are the deaf, dumb, and blind people who think that?<br /><br />History Teacher, pointing to map showing locations o U.S. troops around the world: We have troops there, too. And over there we're using our air force to bomb people.<br />[some students laugh]<br />Teacher: Well, we're working together.<br /><br /><br />Student in math class, loudly: I like English. Not math.<br />Teacher: Oh-kaaay...iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-84951917221207751672008-01-14T17:23:00.000-08:002008-01-14T17:25:33.045-08:00My friend overheard this at the Y.<br /><br />Guy #1: But I thought you liked emo.<br />Guy #2: I like normal emo. <em>Emo</em> emo. Not <em>goth</em> emo.\\<br /><br />Overheard by Jade.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-45111067116507456102008-01-07T20:19:00.000-08:002008-01-07T20:20:55.636-08:00Teacher: If you have some notes you haven't typed up, and you have some time over summer break, you could type them up, add to the essay.<br />Student: Be realistic!!! Who would do that?<br />Teacher: I did it!<br />(class bursts out laughing)iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-40001347301174349842007-12-13T17:32:00.000-08:002007-12-13T17:37:20.535-08:00In my math class, one of the chalkboards has a whole bunch of random doodles on it. And then in the corner, it says:<br />Maria,<br />You are lovely<br />... as a pig.<br /><br /><br />Also from my math class:<br />Teacher: Why did I put 270 degrees? It should be 180.<br />Student: Because you were smoking crack.<br /><br /><br />Student, about other student: Tehy're all like, mature, evil, wacko politcal...<br /><br />Teacher: So ground speed is different than air speed, like the wind affects air speed when a plane or a boat is flying... well, actually, boats dont fly.<br /><br />In Physics:<br />Teacher: Gravity gets weaker the farther from the mass you go.<br />Student: Is there ever a point where there is no gravity? I mean, like, really, really far?<br />Teacher: No.<br />Student: How do you know?<br />Teacher: Because I've been there.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-91962493927529763982007-12-10T16:43:00.000-08:002007-12-10T16:50:01.062-08:00PhysicsTeacher: If gravity is very weak, why do we experience gravity when we grow up?<br />Student (who has no idea) : Because you grow up?<br />Teacher: I mean, when we live where humans live.<br />Student: Like earth?<br />Teacher: So why do we experience gravity as we grow up?<br />Student: Because we get bigger?<br /><br /><br />Written on Board:<br /> <u>Gravity Problems</u><br />1) man attracted to woman<br /><br />Teacher: Since they're two objects, they're attracted to each other by gravity. Whether they're attracted to each other by other forces is psychological, sociological, biological... But sine we're in physics, we're dealing with the physical attraction. I mean, the gravitational attraction.<br /><br /><br />Teacher: I'm done being nice!<br />Student: When did you start?iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4598497916888273300.post-8514707753717212012007-12-05T18:43:00.001-08:002007-12-05T18:51:09.822-08:00English Teacher, during discussion of Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience": It's like how people toilet paper a house to attack the person who owns the house indirectly through the house.<br />Student: No, thats just for fun.<br />Teacher: You guys need to transcend.<br />Student: What, so we toilet pape the person?<br /><br />In history:<br />Student giving presentation on whether the industrialists were captains of industry or robber barons: "Robber barons" isn't really negative, is it?<br />Teacher: Yes it is. That's why I put it that way. <em>Robber</em> barons. People that rob you. That's negative.<br /><br />In math:<br />Teacher (drawing a shape on the board): Does that look parallel?<br />Class: Yes.<br />Student: That does <em>not</em> look parallel!<br />Teacher: Well, you know what I mean. Now I feel self-conscious about it.<br />Other student: Nice going, [first student].<br />First student (to teacher): Oh, you'll get over it!!!<br /><br />Another teacher came into our physics class.<br />Physics teacher (to class): Lets say good afternoon, Mr. [Other teacher].<br />Class, in a monotone: Good afternoon, Mr. [Other teacher].<br />Physics teacher: Next time, with more enthusiasm.<br />Student: Next time, with more enthusiasm.<br />Other teacher, points at student and says sternly: We have places for people like you.iq_twohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14543230799653220995noreply@blogger.com0