History teacher (talking about political cartoons): They used to draw these big, powerful men as large... big, tall, husky, rotund... I mean, Santa Claus is anorexic to these guys.

In Physics:
Teacher: You will build a car from a mouse trap.
Student: Those things are dangerous!
Teacher: What???
Student: People have died from them!
Other student: Who's died from a mousetrap?
First student: Over 16 babies have been killed by mousetraps.
[long pause]
Teacher: People, keep your babies away from it.


Student (raises hand and asks): Where do you buy a mouse trap?
Teacher: Hardware stores, grocery stores..."
Random student, suddenly and loudly: Oh, that Pizza Hut!