Spanish Teacher: [Student], there's no way you can suck hair.


The cover of Student #1's very old math book is coming off.
Student#1: What did you do to my book???
Student #2: Me? What did I do? I didn't do anything.
Student #1: I think my book is trying to commit suicide.


English Teacher: I'm a rugged individualist.
Student: Why don't you live in the woods then?


Student, in presentation about imperialism: Some people say American imperialism never really happened, everything really was just to help poorer countries.
History Teacher: Who are the deaf, dumb, and blind people who think that?

History Teacher, pointing to map showing locations o U.S. troops around the world: We have troops there, too. And over there we're using our air force to bomb people.
[some students laugh]
Teacher: Well, we're working together.


Student in math class, loudly: I like English. Not math.
Teacher: Oh-kaaay...