Thursday, December 13, 2007

In my math class, one of the chalkboards has a whole bunch of random doodles on it. And then in the corner, it says:
Maria,
You are lovely
... as a pig.


Also from my math class:
Teacher: Why did I put 270 degrees? It should be 180.
Student: Because you were smoking crack.


Student, about other student: Tehy're all like, mature, evil, wacko politcal...

Teacher: So ground speed is different than air speed, like the wind affects air speed when a plane or a boat is flying... well, actually, boats dont fly.

In Physics:
Teacher: Gravity gets weaker the farther from the mass you go.
Student: Is there ever a point where there is no gravity? I mean, like, really, really far?
Teacher: No.
Student: How do you know?
Teacher: Because I've been there.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Physics

Teacher: If gravity is very weak, why do we experience gravity when we grow up?
Student (who has no idea) : Because you grow up?
Teacher: I mean, when we live where humans live.
Student: Like earth?
Teacher: So why do we experience gravity as we grow up?
Student: Because we get bigger?


Written on Board:
Gravity Problems
1) man attracted to woman

Teacher: Since they're two objects, they're attracted to each other by gravity. Whether they're attracted to each other by other forces is psychological, sociological, biological... But sine we're in physics, we're dealing with the physical attraction. I mean, the gravitational attraction.


Teacher: I'm done being nice!
Student: When did you start?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

English Teacher, during discussion of Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience": It's like how people toilet paper a house to attack the person who owns the house indirectly through the house.
Student: No, thats just for fun.
Teacher: You guys need to transcend.
Student: What, so we toilet pape the person?

In history:
Student giving presentation on whether the industrialists were captains of industry or robber barons: "Robber barons" isn't really negative, is it?
Teacher: Yes it is. That's why I put it that way. Robber barons. People that rob you. That's negative.

In math:
Teacher (drawing a shape on the board): Does that look parallel?
Class: Yes.
Student: That does not look parallel!
Teacher: Well, you know what I mean. Now I feel self-conscious about it.
Other student: Nice going, [first student].
First student (to teacher): Oh, you'll get over it!!!

Another teacher came into our physics class.
Physics teacher (to class): Lets say good afternoon, Mr. [Other teacher].
Class, in a monotone: Good afternoon, Mr. [Other teacher].
Physics teacher: Next time, with more enthusiasm.
Student: Next time, with more enthusiasm.
Other teacher, points at student and says sternly: We have places for people like you.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

History teacher (talking about political cartoons): They used to draw these big, powerful men as large... big, tall, husky, rotund... I mean, Santa Claus is anorexic to these guys.

In Physics:
Teacher: You will build a car from a mouse trap.
Student: Those things are dangerous!
Teacher: What???
Student: People have died from them!
Other student: Who's died from a mousetrap?
First student: Over 16 babies have been killed by mousetraps.
[long pause]
Teacher: People, keep your babies away from it.


Student (raises hand and asks): Where do you buy a mouse trap?
Teacher: Hardware stores, grocery stores..."
Random student, suddenly and loudly: Oh, that Pizza Hut!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Student: Trix are not for kids.

(about lining of coat): It's like bear wool in here!

(in physics)
Teacher: We're going to watch a movie.
Student: Like a physics movie or a good movie?

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Student #1 (to Student #2): I'd kill you before I'd kill Eric.
Student #3: Why?
Student #1: I don't know. He's just closer.


Student: He lost a few nuts.... [long pause] and bolts.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

From my math class last year:
Teacher: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Class: Huh???
Teacher: Because in horseshoes you get points if you throw it close to the goal, and hand grenades work even if you don't hit your target.
Student: Its funner if you hit them though.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Student: I'm too selfish to think about other people, so I don't have time to be mean to him.

From my Physics class:

Talking about projectiles:
Teacher: It's like, thrown up.
Student: Throw-up?

Teacher: Which angle do we usually measure?
Student: Hypotenuse!
(later)
Teacher: I'm going to make this arrow right here (draws arrow along the y-axis from the angle to the x-axis) and you know what we're going to call it?
Same Student: Hypotenuse!

Someone, please send something in, I can't be the only person to overhear funny stuff!

Monday, November 12, 2007

A group of girls were drinking chocolate milk at nutrition.
First girl: I haven't had chocolate milk in a while.
Second girl: Me neither. I miss school chocolate milk.
First girl: I love school chocolate milk. It tastes funny.

Were were discussing Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher," and our teacher was trying to point out that Roderick could be going crazy because his twin sister is dying. There was a pair of twins in our class.
Teacher: When one twin dies, what happens to the other twin?
Student: They die too.
(everybody looks at the twins and starts cracking up)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Hi

I got the idea for this from Overheard in Law School, I was reading it and I realized that I overhear stuff just as funny as that all the time and decided to start this.

If you have any funny quotes from high school (or before, actually, middle school and elementary school can be funny too) send them to me at iq_two at yahoo.com.

Here're a couple I have from the past couple of years that were funny enough that I wrote them down:

Student: It's stuffy in here, can I turn on the air-conditioning?
Teacher: It doesnt work, it turns on the heater.
Student: Can I turn on the heater? turns on heater

from my Algebra 2 class last year:
Student: Word problems are Satan's flesh!
Teacher: WHAT????
Other student: Word problems arent flesh, they're made out of letters!

The teacher was saying that we're going to be doing word problems, then puts up a warm-up problem from what we were doing the day before (not word problems, obviously).
Student: That's a word problem?
Other student: Do you see any WORDS??????

In the class nex door, someone threw a pen.
Teacher: You guys would never do something like that, would you?
Student: Not now that they've tried it.

It was the first day of school and we were getting our books.
Teacher: Remember to cover it, write your name in it, and don't leave it in class because sometimes people take other people's textbooks to have one at home.
Student: I've done that!

Please send me your funny moments!