Student #1 (to Student #2): I'd kill you before I'd kill Eric.
Student #3: Why?
Student #1: I don't know. He's just closer.


Student: He lost a few nuts.... [long pause] and bolts.

From my math class last year:
Teacher: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Class: Huh???
Teacher: Because in horseshoes you get points if you throw it close to the goal, and hand grenades work even if you don't hit your target.
Student: Its funner if you hit them though.

Student: I'm too selfish to think about other people, so I don't have time to be mean to him.

From my Physics class:

Talking about projectiles:
Teacher: It's like, thrown up.
Student: Throw-up?

Teacher: Which angle do we usually measure?
Student: Hypotenuse!
(later)
Teacher: I'm going to make this arrow right here (draws arrow along the y-axis from the angle to the x-axis) and you know what we're going to call it?
Same Student: Hypotenuse!

Someone, please send something in, I can't be the only person to overhear funny stuff!

A group of girls were drinking chocolate milk at nutrition.
First girl: I haven't had chocolate milk in a while.
Second girl: Me neither. I miss school chocolate milk.
First girl: I love school chocolate milk. It tastes funny.

Were were discussing Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher," and our teacher was trying to point out that Roderick could be going crazy because his twin sister is dying. There was a pair of twins in our class.
Teacher: When one twin dies, what happens to the other twin?
Student: They die too.
(everybody looks at the twins and starts cracking up)

Hi

I got the idea for this from Overheard in Law School, I was reading it and I realized that I overhear stuff just as funny as that all the time and decided to start this.

If you have any funny quotes from high school (or before, actually, middle school and elementary school can be funny too) send them to me at iq_two at yahoo.com.

Here're a couple I have from the past couple of years that were funny enough that I wrote them down:

Student: It's stuffy in here, can I turn on the air-conditioning?
Teacher: It doesnt work, it turns on the heater.
Student: Can I turn on the heater? turns on heater

from my Algebra 2 class last year:
Student: Word problems are Satan's flesh!
Teacher: WHAT????
Other student: Word problems arent flesh, they're made out of letters!

The teacher was saying that we're going to be doing word problems, then puts up a warm-up problem from what we were doing the day before (not word problems, obviously).
Student: That's a word problem?
Other student: Do you see any WORDS??????

In the class nex door, someone threw a pen.
Teacher: You guys would never do something like that, would you?
Student: Not now that they've tried it.

It was the first day of school and we were getting our books.
Teacher: Remember to cover it, write your name in it, and don't leave it in class because sometimes people take other people's textbooks to have one at home.
Student: I've done that!

Please send me your funny moments!